It's August, ... man!

August, 1904.  The small-time Loan Shark Smiley Wilson was down on his luck.  See, he'd gotten in a jam earlier that day when his boss called him to his office across town.  "I feel No good doin' this, but I'm gonna have to Cut You Loose, son.  I made too many Promises, and I'm sorry but I guess I'm just an Impossible Man to work for... You probably Feel It Too."  He felt something alright, but it wasn't that.  His unusually pale skin meant that he was extremely Sensitive to Sunlight and the summer sun was only getting hotter.  He needed shade fast, and quickly mapped out a Route To Palm trees near the edge of town.  

But Smiley wasn't thinking straight on account of the heat, because Everybody Knows that's where the bandit hideout is.  Short on cash and down on his luck, Smiley had no way out.  The sun was too bright now, he'd get sunburn for sure.  "I just Need a Minute to think", he said, but a minute he did not have.  The bandits did what bandits do, and nobody ever saw hide nor hair of Smiley ever again.

[queue tumbleweed]